Jolly's Journey
by ad-iuficium
Summary: Maybe the young pathologist wasn't as hollow and naive as everyone thought. Maybe the ex-military doctor wasn't as ignorant as the show pictured him. Takes place after The Reichenbach fall. My take on John and Molly's journey to find each other. Yes,this is a Jolly/Hoopston fic. This is my first 'published' fic so be kind.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was one month after Sherlock's supposed death when Molly saw John again. The last time was at Sherlock's funeral. John was so sad and looked like he would collapse. She knew John was stright but he cared very much about his flatmate and baest friend.

After coming back from his service at the military,apart from his ignorant sister he had none. Then Sherlock's presence gave him strengh,purpose and hope that at some point he'd be able to live like a normal person again and eventually go about creating a family. All of these possibilities,though,disapeared at his best friend's sudden death. This may seem irrational but having someone so close to you taken away with brutal means -even if it is by suicide- can certainly change a person. For better or for worse.

John didn't know that Shelock was very much alive and trying to take down all of Moriarty's ''web'' by himself. Molly of course knew and wanted so much to tell John the truth. That his best friend was alive. Mycroft had warned her no to say anything to John cause it would seem suspicius of him to start acting ''normal'' again and that could make him a potential target for Moriarty's still-standing associates in London. Molly ached to tell John. She knew that John would not likely recover fully to his usual easy-going self till Sherlock returned. john would probably be very angry with her for not telling him the truth about Shrlock's livelyhood. It wasn't as if they were best buddies but...

She decided then and therethat she would tell John that Sherlock lived. Damn the coincequences. He certainly had a right to know. Sherlock was,is his best friend after all. And Molly liked John. Like really,really liked him. While everyone thought the brunnette pathologist was infatuated with the clever consulting detective,that was never the case. Not really. It's not tha she didn't love him. She really did. How could she not? After so many years of putting up with him and whatnot she grew to care for him deeply but Molly didn't loved him _that_ way. And while his brilliance and cleverness proceeded anything she had encountered before,John was something else. For her John was by far more intriguing and intresting. Not that Sherlock was lacking or anything but the heart wants what the heart wants.

John was a doctor. Not that social standars mattered to her but an army doctor at that... An occupation like this,despite its duration , certainly required of one to have guts and be brave. And judging from wha Molly could see in John's eyes he must have been through hell and back and still thrive on and have hope for a better tomorrow. However,now he was shattered from his best friend's suicide. He must be feeling so alone,she thought. But that wasn't going to last for long. She decided then and therethat she would reveal the truth and be there for him. Even if that meant resentment from his part for letting him suffer a whole month. She was going to save him even if it was the last thing she would ever be able to do. And then she might have the chance to tell John how she felt about him. Truth was that she loved him. She loved the army doctor like nothing else on earth. Did that make her a creep or something? She thought otherwise of course and that's why she never bothered to correct others when they assumed that she was after Sherlock. Let them think whatever they wish , she always thought when she mentally approached the subject usually with a glass of red wine at home in the dark hours of the night.

At the matter at hand now. It was as if fate had arranged the meeting hereself. Minute after thinking all that in her mind while operating on a body -dead of course,she was a pathologist after all- John,the man her thoughts surrounded appeared in front of her. Matter of speaking,he was close to the door of the morgue and when she raised her head to see him he had already taken a few steps inside the cold room.

Molly was very suprised to see him. Ans he was a sight to behold. It was a given that Molly thought John handsome,as he really was but he looked kinda rattled an she could tell that he had lost about 5 killos in the past month since she had seen him. Her suprise was clearly shown on her face and she didn't know how that looked like to him.

After looking at him for a few seconds she gathered all her courage and decided to finally greet him.

"John! Hi! I didn't expect to see you here." Molly said while trying to look cheerfull but not too much as to overwhelm him.

John however didn't answer right away. He seemed as though he was studying her,searching for something. A clue perhaps? A clue for what? She didn't know and she was certain that if John was going to stare at her openly she was going to do the same. She had already noticed the 5 killos he's body was missing when he entered the roomand now had the chance to study him further. He didn't seem too restless but had his hair longer. He didn't cut it as usual. As many other women in the 21st century, Molly had a hair fetish. She didn't particulary liked men with very long hair but long enough to comb her hand through them. John was due toa haircut a while before the "fall" and seemingly he decided to let them grow. Anyway,moving on... John was dressed in dark blue slacks paired with sweet brown oxfords. His musled chest was adorned with a champagne shirt and above that was a thick dark burgundy sweater. It was still cold outside and that would explain the black jacket he was holding in his left arm. It appeard that this was his favorite jacket. He seemed to have plenty of those but this particular one must be his favorite,Molly thought. What the bloody hell was she thinking!? John was infront of her and all she could think about was his diverse collection of jackets!?

And then she looked at him again and saw something she hadn't noticed before...oh my god! How could she not have noticed before!? John was wearing glasses. Like big black -I'm your sexy history professor- glasses. He was so bloody sexy! Molly thought she was going insane. How could she not when all she could thing about was how much she wanted to shagg this man's bones. Thinking all that she almost missed his reply.

"Hello Molly. I know it's been a while since we last saw each other...at ah,Sherlock's funeral. It's hard for me still to...to think of him d-dead." He said looking down when uttering his last words and hesitating to say more. It was like talking like this was difficult for him.

Though , after a few seconds he raised his head again and continued speaking. "I assume it's hard for you,too. So,I came. Here. To talk. With you." John was kinda blushing by the end of his speech.

While at first he looked sure of himself by the end he was blushing like a schoolboy. It was so sweet. He was so sweet. And cute. To have him here... To realise that he might have worked it out by himshelf that neede someone to share the burden of Sherlock's death with. And she was beyond delighted to learn that he had chosen her to be that certai someone. Molly was by all means suprised. Pleasantly suprised. It might be awkard at first but she was sure everything eventually would find its place and at the end it would be all fine.

End of chapter 1.

Song of this chapter: _Hold on to what you believe in_ by _Mumford and Sons_


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: Hello,people! As I mentioned in the summary this is my first attempt at writing and being betaless is quite hard. So,as you gathered from the first chapter this is a Jolly fic. I'm sorry but it will not feauture Sherlock at all. My OPT is Sherlolly and Mollcroft but I find it difficult to write the Holmes brothers. I hope someone reading this will eventually leave a review. Even a small 2worded one. I would dearly appreciated it. Oh and thanks to rubyred753 for adding this story to her Story Alert subscription. Is it by any chance that you have read The Ruby Red Trilogy by Kerstin Gier? I love those books but I haven't found many fic on that. Anyway,here's the second chapter. Enjoy.

Chapter 2

Molly was sure her heart would escape her ribcage from the rapit beating of her heart. She would have the chance to reveal the truth to John and finally be rid of some of the guilt she carried like a cross on her back.

Lying wasn't something Molly could do easily. Even from a young age she coudn't lie even if her life was depending on it. She wouldn't be able to have a direct eye contact with anyone and she would blush uncontrollably. That of course continued to her teenage years and even later on in her life. Still,being 33 year old she had the same problem. Or maybe it wasn't a problem. Not being able to lie to others was considered by ancient greek philosophers a great character trait but not so much in the current situation Molly was in.

In the past month,Molly had seen Greg Lestrade twice and Mrs Hudson once.

Greg was a regular visitor of this particular morgue due to his cases with Sherlock. Not having him around meant the Scotland Yard detective didn't have a reason to visit and hence Molly. However,Greg visited her once to collect the official autopsy of the bodies of Sherlock Holmes and James Moriarty and another time a week later as to question her on her last contact with the dead detective. It was a very professional affair one could say.

As for Mrs Hudson, Molly had called her and required after her health. The kind and gracious lady that Martha was,invited Molly over for some tea and cranberry scones the young pathologist seemed to love. Whether Molly felt unconfortable or not didn't matter as she accepted right away. She regarded Mrs Hudson as an aunt she once had that looked upon her like a daughter,more so than her own mother had. But this is a matter for another time. Anyway,they had to reschedual cause Martha had a doctor's appointment for her hip. They were able to meet a little caffeteria across Bart's Hspital the next day after Molly's shift ended in the afternoon. She wanted to spend more time at the old ladie's presence but going to Baker Street seemed likea milestone to Molly. Baker Street meant Shelock and John and in extention meant having to lie again. So,she avoided going there.

As for Mr Mycroft Holmes, he demanded her presence once after Sherlock's "fall". He reminded her again about her promise to say nothing about wha she knew of Sherlock's suppoed demise and that he would give her updates regarding his brother when it was necessary. She shouldn't but Molly really felt for Mycroft. She knew she shouldn't pity hi but he knew himself that all this trouble and pain they along with the Holmes family was partly his fault. I mean,who would tell a prisoner, an established sociopath ,about one's own brother. Poor Mycroft. She didn't know how to offer him comfort at all. An it wasn't her place after all.

{ And after all that...let's return to the ongoing conversation of Molly and John. Sorry for the delay peple. ;) }

"What do you need,John?"

That was a very meaningful phrase and both occupants of the room knew it. With this particular phrase it was like Molly was giving herself freely to John. She would do anything to heal his pain and put an end to his suffering. She couldn't just go to him and reveal him the truth but till then she would be willing to do anything in her power to help John,the man she loved with all her heart.

John in reply smilled the warm and inviting smile of his that made women swoon at his feet. Molly was certainly ready to swoon. She was a mere mortal woman *(avengers - Loki reference) after all and there was so much she could take. He didn't seem suprised though at her lack of stalling in her voice. Maybe he truly imagined that she was more than a little girl with a collection of frenzied nerves,shoddy makeup and ripples scattering in the wake of Sherlock's unstuded and eminently forgivable callousness. Maybe he viewed her a professionall formed woman,something that many few people would think of her as except of those who knew her very well.

" _You_ ,Molly. I need _you_."

He said with hs sweet smile still plastered on his face and while looking her in the eyes. She had to admit that John's eyes were beautiful. Many would say they had a dark blue color that in its darkness seemed more like black but she knew that his eyes were something else. Molly had summarised that suprisingly his eyes changed their shade of blue. It seemed that the local saying that one's eyes was the windows of their soul was indeed truthful. The shades of John's eyes would change depending his mood. When happy they turned a vibrant somewhat dark blue and when angry they seemed almost black. Shw hoped she would be able in the future to discern more colours to add to her list of eye shades regarding John's eyes.

"How can I help you? Please do tell. I'd love to aid you in any way I can."

Molly said looking at John with a small smile on her face. Was this too much? Should she have said something else? Her inner questioning stopped at John's delightful laugh.

"Thank you. How about we start with coffee first,hm? And then we can talk." John offered still smilling and staring at her big brown eyes.

"Good idea." Molly said slightly shaking her head at his previous laugh. Oh,how she loved him. "When and where would you like to meet? I have the day off tomorrow."

"I know a cosy little coffee shop. How about I come tomorrow to get you from your home at say,11 o'clock? It's not far from where you live."

"Ok. 11 o'clock seems fine but how do you know where Iive?" Molly asked curious as to how John knew her adress when he's never there.

"I have my sources." John smuggly replied.

Molly simply raised her eyebow in order to show himshe doubt he had said sources as to locate where she lived.

"Fine. I don't have that kind of sources. Sherlock had to retrieve a book from your library once so we came but I waited outside so I know the adress,the floor and the number of your flat but I haven't seen the interior. Happy?" He said in a breath to her not wanting to sound like an idiot.

"Haha...Very." Said Molly still laughing at the grimace John was currently wearing. "So,tomorrow at 11 o'clock you'll come to pick me up. Ok. I look forward to it."

"Ok then,Molly. I'll take my leave of you."

He said looking her over once again and turning to leave. When he turned to the door with his back to her he turned to her again and smilled while asking: "Do you have my number? I have yours but I don't know if you have mine."

" I have it. You once gave it to mem in case of an emergency."

"Oh,ok then.I'll go now. It was a pleasure to see you again Molly and I can't wait for tommorow." John said ready to leave after being assured that Molly could easily contact him.

"It was pleasant for me too,John. See you tomorrow." Molly said smilling.

It appeared that all she could do in John's presence was constantly smile. She hadn't done that in a while. The smilling part. It pained her to admit but having the burden of Sherlock's unreal suicide hanging over her neck and back meant no interaction with the people close to her and that meant not smiling or laughing. There's only so much laughing that can be achieved watching The Avengers movies and Doctor Who. The David Tennant Doctor (10th) of course...Matt Smith (11th) was always getting on her nerves and the 9th doctor wasn't to her liking.

So,she had only one hour till the end of her shift for today and she was so excited to go home. Watch a movie with a glass of wine after eating and then sleep. She would sleep easier today knowing that she would meet with John the other day. She was so excited. She really couldn't wait.

End of chapter 2.

Song of this chapter: _High Hopes_ by _Kodaline_

A/N: Stay tuned cause the 3rd chapter will be uploaded it tomorrow. And I'd love to hear your thoughts. Yes,I'm talking to you. You,poor tortured soul who is reading this.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hello again! As promised this is the third chapter of this fic. I don't know if there is actually an interest in this but I'll keep on updating. And let me thank TARDISpopcorn for adding this story to her/his Story Alert subscription. I'm afraid there isn't any action in thsi aware that takes place before John went to meet Moly in the Mortuary.

It was difficult.

If John thought that surviving his military service and having to deal with the lose of his comarades was hard and dificult imagine having to go through Sherlock's death.

For John,Sherlock was the best friend he never had in his 36 years he lived on the planet earth. Sure,he was easy-going,polite,kind and honest but never really did John had a best friend. He entered the military at 25 years old and then all the friends he had started little by little to avoid him and exclude him literally by the time he had to live England.

It was surreal.

They all thought of him as good as dead. They didn't even came to see him off. No one was there. Even his sister,his own blood,prefered to go to a party th epreviousnight and leave him all alone to leave. Harry didn't say goodbye and that still hunts John.

Their parents had been killed in car accident and they had since been living with their grandparents. Grandpa Harold was himself a military man and he was the one who encouraged John to go there too. He had already started to study in order to become a doctor and the army was a very good chance to finish his studies and practice further. So,that made him decide to do it.

He spend there approximately 8 years there and there were still scars in his body and soul. He had started seeing a psycologist when he first arrived in England again but with the adrenaline rush of chasing around criminals and solving cases with Sherlock he didn't have time to remeber the had times of his service,his limping stopped and his scars -both mentally and physicaly- healed.

But now...it was all back with double force. All the people he loved and cared for seemed to leave him at some point. It was horrible. Sometimes John thought he was cursed but his rational side overpowered then and reminded him that all those things could be coincedences and didn't necessarily mean that he was worthless of being loved by others.

John knew that he had to come to terms with what happened to him. From the sudden death of his parents to Sherlock's suicide. If it was a suicide. Because John wouldn't put it past Sherlock to direct his own death in order to catch James Moriarty.

Humoring himself he started to think about it. Sherlock would have to need help and if he didn't ask John then who? He wouldn't dare ask Mycroft for help. He was his archenemy as the detective mentioned once. He hated him and John thought that they might be like him and his sister. Lost chances and unshared feelings did that to brothers. Hence,not Mycroft.

Next was Inspector Detective Greg Lastrade. He and Greg were friends of sorts and had once even meet up to discuss Sherlock and life in general over a pint in a pub. But Sherlock thought of him as an idiot and asking help to fake a death from a detective of Scotland Yard wasn't something Sherlock would do.

So that left Molly Hooper. John had mixed feelings about the young forensic pathologist. Firstly,being a forensic pathologist at such a young age was by itself a great achievement. And Molly was what?...29,30 years old. Which meant that she was intelligent cause no dumb person can operate and cope with this particular occupation. But recalling all his interctions with her that never seemed the case. Sure,Molly was an ace in her job. The best in her field in all England and he knew that many other hospitals not only in England but Europe and the USA had offered to hire her and she had refused. Why he didn't know.

Was it because of Sherlock? Would she be able to risk her job and her career to aid Sherlock? It was very likely but John didn't know much about the young woman so he googled her. There were a lot of pages and websites regarding her writing work. Apparently she had written several intresting papers regarding her job but phylosophy too. She seemed to admire the ancient greek philosophers and had written two papers in greek.

Mh...he certainly didn't expect that from Molly. She certainly didn't seem sophisticated and clever like Irene Adler but obviously him and Sherlock were very wrong about the pathologist. There was more to her and he wanted to find out more.

Then he pressed images on google and was stunned from what he saw. There was Molly dressed to the nines with a black backless knee-length dress with 12-inch nude heels. She was wearing makeup and her hair were swept in an updo hairstyle on her head. She was so beautiful and John was even more suprised than he was previously. Who was this woman with the long legs and small waist? Molly didn't project that picture whenever he saw her with her baggy clothes and endless collection of sweaters. Clicking on the image he saw that the picture was from a magazine and had an aricle on it. Reading it he summarised that the article was about women who occupied strange job positions that usually were taken by men. It seemed that there were more women featured but all of John's concentration was on Molly.

It seemed that Molly was someone who was worth knowing and John would be attempting to do just that. Maybe she would even be willing to help him overcome all this pain and suffering and they could start from there. No one knows where life can take you and the morgue seemed a nice place to start.

End of chapter 3.

Song of this chapter: _Ophelia_ by _The Lumineers_

A/N: Next chapter coming in two days or tomorrow if I can help it. Reviews are accepted if someone actually went to the trouble to write them... Anyway,chapter 4 coming next. Kisses till then.

-Andriana


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: First things first,I was able to finish the 4rth chapter and even started on the 5th. So,as my birthday is today and I'm uploading this at 12:36,I give this early chapter as a gift to you.I'll probably update again tomorrow or the day next. And let me thank the wonderful Popcorn Lover for going out of her way and writing rvies to this story for the first time ever. Lots of love to you,Kim!

On with this story!

Chapter 4

The next day both Molly and John woke up early to prepare themselves for their date. Or better caffee date. While it wasn't mentioned between them,they both considered it a date. And they were both excited to be in the company of eachother even if they had different purposes,for now.

Molly woke at 9 o'clock in the morning from seer excitement.

She really couldn't wait to meet John. So,after eating breakfast she wore her workout clothes and went for a run. It may be winter still but Molly refused to workout in a gym. They were horrible and she loved the freedom jogging gave her. After a 20 minute run she returned home. Had a shower,dried her hair and dressed. It was 10:15 and she was ready. She decided to do her laundry to pass her time and when she was done she went through her emails. According to her wristwatch,John would be here in 5 minutes.

For John his morning was another matter interaly.

He had slept late and hence woke late. He had taken a few days leave from the office to get his act together. Sarah was understanding enough to grand him that. They had made a deal of sorts as John couldn't be always there to take appointments aong with solving cases. And after Sherlock's death Sarah wanted to give him a chance to reflect and deflect on the current situation and then return on his own to the office. But yesterday was hectic cause a doctor called in sick in the afternoon and he was called to stand in. Therefore he returned at Baker Street at 03:00. He was so tired and went to sleep immediately without actually rembering to set an alarm in his phone in order to wake early for his date with Molly.

John woke up at 10 'clock in the morning. He still had an hour but hurried to take a shower and shave. He'd like to leave his stubble on but now was not the time for that. So,he dressed and drunk some coffee. He was a bit nervous but on the whole,excited. The digital clock beside Billy the skull said it was time to go pick Molly up.

And after 10 minutes John was exiting his cab and rung Molly's door. She had seen him from the window and buzzed him in right away. He went up the stairs and saw her door open and her waiting there for him.

When Molly saw John walk up the stairs,nervousness kicked in. She started questioning her clothes choices,her hair and overly regreted all she did that morning. But she wanted to stop these thoughts and thus concentrated on John's form or what she could she of him from her position on her door.

Today he was wearing his favorite black jacket and under it a pair of dark skinny jeans and red all-star sneakers. Molly didn't like men who wore more skinny than hers jeans but John's jeans were marvelous. While not a skinny man,John made those jeans look fantastic. His hair thoigh in contrast with yesterday were bed ridden and wild. She liked them better today. She really ached to get her hands through his silk hair.

But he approached all too quickly for her to think more about his appearance. "Goodmorning,John. How are you this fine morning?"

John delayed his reply stunned once more from the way Molly looked. She was wearing skinny black jeans that made her legs look longer. How was this possible? Molly was generally a petite woman so her legs looking longer suprised him. Her chest was covered with a louse long sleeved grey blouse that made her chest bigger. Over it there was a thin knitted jacket. She was very beatiful and the wa she was dressed was very different from the way John was used in seeing on her.

Despite all his waywand thoughts and the minutes that had passed since he first saw her,John had the decency to look flushed in her eyes and answered her enquiry.

"Goodmorning Molls. I'm mightly fine this morning." He said smiling at her. "At least it isn't raining. We seem to have the weather on our side. So,are you ready?"

"Yes. Let me just get my coat. Do come in." Molly replied making a gesture as to encourage John to step inside.

"Thanks."

Molly's house was suprisingly cosy and homey and definately not what John had in his mind. She kept suprising him without even knowing it and intending on it. Though,he didn't have enough time to process Molly's home cause after a minute she appeared infront of him dressed in a knee-length dark blue coat and thick red knitted scarf around her delicate neck.

"I'm ready. How far is this place we're going from here? You mentioned a walk." Molly asked John while they both exited the flat and she started locking the door.

"Yes,it's about a 10 minute walk. Let's go." John replied

John and Molly went down the stairs and exited the block of flats that housed the pathologist's home. It was cold outside even in such an hour of the morning so they both tangled their hands together to share some warmth. Only then did John noticed that Molly's hands were by far warmer than his. She was wearing identical gloves with her scarf and that made John smile wide. Molly noticed his smile and gave him a small smile of her own.

They walked without talking. The silence between them was comforting and comfortable in addition to the times they were left alone in the lab at Bart's by Sherlock. Then it was akward and uncomfortable. But now it certainly was nice.

After 10 minutes or so John directed Molly to the opposite side of the pavement they were walking on and stopped infront of a cute looking little coffee shop. They entered and the warm smell of fresh coffee entered their nostrils.

"This place is wonderful!" Molly exclaimed like a 9 year old would if left in a candyshop.

She looked around the shop. They had handmade sweets and cakes that smelled oh so nice. It was like being in Wonderland. However,the decoration and furniture gave the whole place a nice and warm feeling within her. With all the excitement and awe in her mind,Molly didn't notice John looking down at her with an equal hunngry and warm look like hers directed to the sweets on the counter.

Finally John broke the silence and gestured to an empty booth in the corner of the shop overlooking the road outside through the glass wall of the shop. They sat down and they both removed their jackets. It seemed that the heating inside was very powerful or the warmth Molly felt could be because of John's presence infront of her.

"So,this is it. I assume you like it from the look on your face."

"It is lovely. Thanks for briging me here." Molly paused in her speech as a waitress came to take their order. They both ordered a kind of oversweet coffee with weird tastes and some biscuites ans cakes. They both had a sweet tooth and didn't try to hide it.

End of chapter 4.

Song of this chapter: _I wanna be yours_ by _Arctic Monkeys_

A/N: I think that you'll love the next chapter. I have to say that I rather liked it and even got a bit emotional about it. It's ok,right? I mean it's natural for one to be fond of their work,right? At least I hope so. Thanks in advance to anyone who decides to write a review to this. So,goodnight from Greece and happy birthday to me.

Song for this A/N _: Χρόνια Πολλά σε σένα_ από _Κωνσταντίνο Παπακωνσταντίνου_ (a greek alternative version of the Happy Birthday Song)

-Andriana


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I'm really sorry for not updating untill today. Thanks to everyone(Popcorn lover ;) for wishing me well for my birthday. Now,I'm afraid you'll have to wait more for this story to end. I'll update this and the next chapter today however the rest will be updated after one or two weeks. I'll be gone from the city and where I'll be there's no decent wifi connection. Even beach bars have rubbish connections. Anyway...on with the story!

Disclaimer: I forgot to mention it previously but I own nothing. Well,except the mistakes that can be found everywhere in this fic.

Chapter 5

Inside that little coffee shop both Molly and John had a lovely time.

They talked about many things like their occupations and how they actually decided what they wanted to do in the future,their favorite books and movies. Apparently John shared Molly's passsion for the 10th Doctor and her love for everything Star Wars related.

However,after the first one and a half hour of continuously talking a comforting silence ensued. Molly was staring down at her almost finished mug of coffee contemplating how she ought to tell John. How could she do it and when? Would now be ok or too soon?

While drowning in her thoughts Molly missed John calling her name.

"Yes? I'm sorry but my mind was elsewhere. You were saying?" Molly said with an small apologetic smile.

"Are you ok? You were gone for a moment? Would you like to leave? Did I said or did something that offended you?" John was trying to smooth and try to be there for the young pathologist that seemed to do little else but suprise him again and again.

"No. It's nothing. But...mh. I have something to tell you. And I'm not supposed to reveal anything but I can't live with myself anymore and this,this big secret. And...I have to tell you. I-I just don't know how,when and where." During the time she was talking she briefly let her large brown doe-like eyes look into John's dark blues. She was blushing slightly and averting her gaze all over the wall and the decorations behind John.

He immediately thought of Sherlock and how he was the main reason that he had asked Molly out. However,to his shame he entirely forgot his best friend's death while sitting here with Molly. And coming around to the now,John suspected that what Molly wanted to tell him was possibly related to Sherlock. What could sweet little Molly know? He really wanted to find out.

"What is it? What do you want to tell me that you were told no to say to anyone? Please Molly. Is...is it related to,ah to Sherlock?"

"Yes." She said looking down on their table like she was a little child being reprimanded. Because of this,because of her showing discomfort John touched slowly Molly's hand and went on to hold it securely in his own. "Tell me Molly. It will be ok. I promise." He said almost whispering to her.

Molly raised her head and looked at John. Her eyes were shining,filled with unshed tears ready to drop down her delicate pink cheeks. She looked broken and apologetic."I'm sorry,John.I-I'm really sorry. I w-wanted to tell you right away but She-Sherlock and then Mycroft swore me to secrecy and I c-couldn't,couldn't say anything to anyone. I can't look you in the eyes,J-John without feeling guilty. Nor Greg or M-Mrs Hudson. And it's so hard and I'm so very sorry. For everything. The p-pain I caused you and them to feel when I can take it all away...it's slowing k-killing me inside John. It has only been one month b-but- " John stopped her.

"Molly,it's ok. It's fine. We'll work it all out. But tell me...i-is Sherlock alive?" John asked impatiently and hopeful in the same time.

Molly looked at John solemnly and replied "Yes." and lowered her head. She was feeling awful. At first she thought that she would be relieved to tell her secret to anyone but now she felt worse. And it was getting more and more worse when John's hand left hers on the table and went to rest on his face along with the other.

It was surreal.

It was a disaster.

A big bloody disaster.

And it was her fault. All of it.

She did some good by telling John the truth but she instantly betrayed Sherlock and Mycroft. What would they say? Would Mycroft send someone to kill her now that she spoke the truth? God knows what would happen now. Probably John would go to him demanding Mycroft tell him everything he knew and where his brother was. She would be forgotten and despised. She was sure of it. She was doomed. John would never accept her love now. She was a liar. She didn't deserve his affection,not that she would get it in any case. And definately not now.

She suddently felt trapped. She had to leave. Molly could sense a panic attack coming her way and she had to leave. Now. She got up from her chair and left some bills on the table. She looked for seconds at John. "I'm sorry John. You can-n't imagine how sorry. I-I have to go." Molly said with batted breath and quickly walked to the door. Without so much as a glance behind her she left. Feeling numb and empty. That was it. And John didn't even shout after her. It must be the shock,Molly assumed. At least she hoped it was. After finally arriving home,Molly payed the cab and as she finished closing her front door she colapsed on the hard floor of her flat.

End of chapter 5.

Song of this chapter: _Skyfall_ by _Adele._

A/N: And that's the 5th chapter. Sorry for making you wait. What do you think now that the cat is out of the bag? I'd love to hear you thoughts.

-Andriana,Greece


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: And the 6th chapter is here! See you in 2 weeks.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sir Aurthur Conan Doyle,Steven Moffat and the lovely Mark Gatiss own all this.

Chapter 6

Panic attacks were a constant in Molly Hooper's life.

At least it was untill her graduation from med school. They had started when she was 12 and nobody could account for the cause of its appearance in the young girl. Even Molly herself couldn't remember what had triggered these responses in her. And now they're back with vengeance. They started again when Molly first learned that Jim from IT was in fact James Moriarty,Consulting Criminal. And whenever she thought about it she came close to having one.

When she decided to become a doctor she wrote a lengthy paper on panic attacks,causes and possible effects on one's personality. Even though she never came around to actually publish this work of hers,she continues to try new scientific ways to try to combat it. But nothing are not many situations outside of work that do not trigger panic attacks.

However,having to keep Sherlock's secret and being stressed not to reveal anything results in almost daily small panic only thing she can do is try not to be around others when the attack ensues and try to calm herself down with deep even breaths.

Telling the truth about Sherlock to John today,not only caused Molly a panic attack but passing out too. That was definately a first,she thought when she first started coming young pathologist opened her eyes to stared at the ceiling of her three-bedroom flat.

This was really pointless.

No,not staring at the ceiling,Molly mused. This. Her life. At this point she out to take some much-needed vacation time and go somewhere. Maybe she could visit her best friend,Annie. While summer was the best-suited season to visit Greece,the mediterranean country was respectively beautiful all year round. And she had tons of days of leave. Having to work with Sherlock's schedule didn't leave space for her to actually take a day off or call in sick. He would just pick her up as battered as she may look and carried her through the doors of the lab to do his tests. That great git.

And suffice to say that this great utter git is the ultimate cause of all her troubles. But she couldn't blame him. Not really. He was the one that had to go dismantle a psyco's criminal web that covered the whole bloody europe. Poor man. And she poor woman for having to deal with the aftermath of his suffering and deceit. Sort of,anyway.

And all these thought lead her to think about the current situation. What should she do? What can she do,anyway? Just laying on the floor in miday won't help anyone.

And John?

John certainly needed answers. And she would offer them freely if only he asked them. Would he ask them to her or go straight to Mycroft? That would be a disaster,surely. And John is smarter than that.

What would he be doing now?

Was he still on the table as she left him? Or was he on the way to Baker street not having yet processed what she told him? Or was he on his way here? That would be highly unlikely,no doubt. And quite impossible too. John would hate her,surely. But it wasn't tooo late,right? It had only passed a month from the fall so she saved him a little suffering,no?

And he-...Was that her door? Was someone actually banging on her door at 14:36 according to her digital clock on the wall? Who could that be?

Still wondering about the person on theother side of her door,Molly gingerly got up and went to aswer the door.

Little did Molly know that the impossible as she first thought was quite possible.

End of Chapter 6.

Song of this chapter: _Creep_ by _Vintage Postmodern Jukebox Radiohead Cover ft. Haley Reinhart_

A/N: And that's it for now. Please review.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** And I'm back! I'm really sorry for making you wait so long. I have rewritten this chapter 3 times. I had no intention to abandon this fic but writer's block sucks!

Let me thank once more Popcorn Lover for her lovely review as usual and the guest who took the time to leave one as well. And lastly TARDIS lover. I'm overjoyed when I see a review waiting for me. Once more,I'm really sorry for the delay.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of all these except my running-wild imagination. Our favorite characters are ''property'' of Sir Aurthur Conan Doyle,Steven Moffat and the exquisite Mark Gatiss. Oh,and all the mistakes are mine. This is not beta'd.

Finally,here it is. Enjoy.

 **Chapter 7**

Molly was beyond suprised when she opened her door and saw in front of her John Watson himself.

She really didn't think he would show up. Rather she did but thought it impossible and yet here he was. Would he ask her to tell him everything now? She needed a little while after the panic attack to get a hold of herself but she would definately try. She owned him at least that.

And back to the matter at hand. John was standing on her doorstep,holding in his right hand her bright red knitted gloves. She must have forgotten them on the table in her rush to leave the place. It was a shame,really. She grew to love that particular coffee shop even if she was barely two hours in it. But...she wouldn't go there. She couldn't. Not now. She would be reminded of lost chances and lies. Her innocent lies that hurt and still made precious people hurt. What a shame,indeed.

"J-John?" She said looking a bit confused.

"Hi!" He said looking perplexed himself. "I wanted to apologise about...before. I shouldn't have zoned out like that and let you leave. I'd like to know everything you know,Molly. I-I have to find him and help him. I hoped he was alive but didn't dare to think that it was true. Please,Molly tell me." John was looking quite desperate now and Molly wanted nothing more than to comfort him.

"I'm r-really ssorry. I-" She couldn't continue further because she started weeping. Her feet were weak and she felt awful.

Seeing the young ptholgist sudddently sob,John threw his arms around her and embraced her. Molly continued sobbing. John was being so comforting and that was definately something she had missed a lot since the death of her father. She hadn't had any serious relationships after he died and her date with Jim who turned ou to be the infamous Consulting Criminal didn't count. As she...

Her train of thought was stopped by John himself when he started talking to her quitely near her ear for her to listen to him. He tries to reassure her that everything was going to be alright and now he would help her with the burden of lying. That he wasn't so mad at her as he first appeared.

Then he tried to direct tem to the nearby couch while still having Molly in his arms. She now seemed so fragile,and to have to keep a secret such as this for so long was eating her alive. Por Molly,John thought. But he wouldn't pity her. No,far from iy. He came to admire her inner and quite strenght that seemed to attract both hi and Sherlock to her person. He hugged her tight once more and when he sensed her sobs lessen,he went to make them some tea. He assumed it would help both him and her.

After he made the tea,he brought the two Doctor Who mugs on the small table near the sofa and redirected himself to his previous position but now with only one arm around Molly. The other busy holding his smoking warm tea.

After taking a sip of her own sweet tea,Molly started slowly explaining her role to it all and everyhting she knew about the Fall.

" Do you remeber the day before the Fall,when you and Sherlock came in when I was leaving." With a nod from John,she continued.

"You were busy reading some reports and I was watching Sherlock. He seemed kind of sad when you weren't looking him so I pointed it out. Anyway,the point is that in my own way made him understand that I was there if he ever needed my help. After a not so kind but rightful comment from him,you both left. Later at night,Sherlock appeared once more and told me that he thought he was going to die and whether I was willing to help him if he wasn't all he appeared to be. I then asked what he needed and he said he required my help. So,help him I did. After tryin to come up with a plan to outrun Moriarty all night he came to the correct conclusion that Moriarty w-would ask of Sherloc to jump off the roof of St. Bart's. So,with that in mind he contracted Mycroft and his homeless network. After Moriarty killed himself on the roof,Sherlock called you and then jumped himself."

At this part of her speech,Molly tried to comfort John by putting her hands on his right hand that was surrounding her shoulders. She cudled his hand with his and turned herself over so that she was nestled in his chest. She hoped John would find solace in her embrace. After a couch from him and an almost silent ''Continue" from him,she started speaking once more. Having now more courage then before in his arms.

"You saw him jump and he did. Jump,that is. But he didn't fell on the ground but a sort of rescue matress. Then he lain on the pavement. Blood was thrown all over him and by putting a small ball under his left underarm his heart beat stopped. I don't know what exactly happened after that but once they 'informed' me of Sherlock's suicide I asked to be the one to do the autopsy. I was alone at the morgue. I identified the body as Sherlock's. Then he left. I'm not sure but Mycroft ought to be the one that got him after that. I haven't seen him since."

After such a long time speaking,Molly let a sigh leave her and turned to John. He was silently crying. This sight caused a sudden ache to appear inside Molly's heart. She sat upright in the sofa and went to embrace John harder. He in return haugged her tight to him and his previously silent tears became loud manly sobs.(was this a bit too much? manly sobs?)*

And hugging each other seemed to be a way of coping for our dear characters.

 **Song for this chapter** : _I want to break free_ **by** _Queen_

 **PLEASE READ! QUESTION OF IMPORT!**

So,this may seem to be the end but I don't think if it is. I have registered this story as M rated cause I was planning on writting smth smut in it but now I'm not sure. And I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written.

And I wanted to thank everyone that has read this story. Even if this fic won't continue,thanks for reading my creation.

Please share your thoughts with me,what do you think?

-Andriana,Greece


End file.
